Today was quite a day for me. I went to church this morning with my good friend Brian and was very richly blessed. We went through about 9 or so songs before the ‘service’ and it was awesome.. Everyone was singing their best and with their grandmother playing the Piano it sounded absolutely incredible. It was also very interesting being around people who believe ‘differently’ than I and still seeing them doing their absolute best to live what they believe. It was a great experience :).
Then I went through the rest of the day.. very long.. and, in many ways, painful. I went through a lot of stuff emotionally. Things weren’t lining up the way I wanted them too.. people seemed to be suddenly demanding so much of me and I was realizing just how little I’ve really done.
Its amazing how much stuff I have to do.. and I have no excuse for not getting things done. Sure, I stay busy.. but I’m not yet focused. I’m getting there :).
God has become just an incredible part of my life over the past few months, and it just doesn’t bug me to talk about it anymore. I can get all kinds of flak for it and often times, the flak comes from the people that mean a lot to me.. yet my beliefs have become such a core of who I am that it doesn’t matter. The more I learn.. the more I realize how little I know.. and I tell you, its humbling..
Being humble does a lot for you.. suddenly its not about getting all the money.. its not about owning that Island and having that 11 million dollar home. Its not about getting all the nice toys.. or even giving all the nice toys.. I dunno, my focus has just changed.. I no longer believe that the things I have are mine.. Instead, I feel that I’ve been entrusted with things.. my talents, my abilities.. I’m a steward of them.. and my sole responsibility is to do the absolute best with what I’ve been given.
So far, I haven’t done that. Yeah, I’ve gone a LONG ways and some would argue (well, many) that I’m already doing way too much.. “Come on! You’re only 18! Have some fun!”.. Who says I don’t have fun? ;).. And all that aside, my age isn’t an excuse. I feel a great responsibility, and I feel that I’m not yet living anywhere near what I’m capable of.
So, the next few months are going to be really interesting.. The last few days here in Northern California have been tough.. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about who I am.. and I’m unhappy with a lot of the characteristics I still retain.. I’m way too sarcastic at times, and that can damage relationships.. There’s nothing worse than stopping the sarcasm on your end and it keeps on going. Yeah.. that sucks.. and its my fault :P.
Anyways.. tomorrow will be interesting. I’m going to be helping my mom move.. even though that means no snowboarding, its the right thing to do :). No mistakes this time.
Alright, goodnight world.. Have a great rest :)
Daily Action Step:
Growing up, even if just a little.